As I write this, I am a little hesitant – this one simple hack my reduce the need for me as a coach and, coaching as an industry – to all of my fellow coaches, I apologise.
It is like seeing how a magic trick is done though. It is nice to see a great illusion done live for the first time. Some people like to sit back and enjoy, if you are anything like me, you like to see if you can spot how it was done! For me, it doesn’t ruin the illusion, it opens my mind to opportunities, understanding and awareness. This allows the opportunity to improve on something and use it in a different way or context.
Coaching is not magic or an illusion but it does allow someone working with a coach to open their mind to opportunity through creating awareness and understanding. It helps people overcome blocks. It helps people to be ‘more’ in whatever that means for you.
Language is really important. A good coach will pick up on words and phrases you use without even knowing you have used them and offer you the opportunity to make sense of those words or phrases for you.
A good example, and a very common one, is noticing and reflecting for a client when they use the term ‘I think’ Vs, ‘I feel’. We tend to use these terms without any conscious though but yet it describes something. Often clients understand ‘I think’ as just that – thoughts, logic, brain, etc. somehow coming from the head. Sometimes, ‘I feel’ is a bit more intangible and takes some exploration. Often, the conclusion of some exploration is that ‘I feel’ is somewhere outside of the head – in the body, gut, heart, something else.
Listening for language is important. Using language is equally important and sometimes, offering a word can shift a whole sentence, belief or thought. This is where the hack comes in, this is where I will offer you the opportunity to change your thoughts and beliefs by using just one word:
Some examples of themes and common beliefs I hear on a regular basis that can be changed using the word YET:
“I don’t have the qualifications for that particular job”
“I don’t have the support of the rest of the management team”
“I can’t do that, I don’t have the money”
“I am not good at public speaking”
“I don’t have the confidence to as for a promotion”
Try adding the word YET to the end of any of those beliefs – how does it change the meaning? How does it open up possibility? How does it reduce the feeling of being stuck? What else does it do for you?
I am not suggesting this is a magic bullet and talk of killing off the coaching industry with one word may have been a bit overstated but I do know the power of this one word. I would encourage you to think about one scenario you are dealing with or one goal you feel is out of your grasp and see if using the word YET changes anything for you!